Tuesday, June 11, 2013

the rain sounds different in every room.  in the bedroom it's soft and it duets with the measured rhythm of sleeping and breathing and the metal roof that covers just the bedroom, makes every drop a note. in the stairwell, the window that is protected by the porch is open wide into the night. the heavy rain sounds torrential, as i descend.  and as it falls past the shut up windows of our little library, it pings like a cymbal off the lid of a metal garbage can sitting beside the kitchen door.  but i feel very protected and safe within the thick walls and old bubbly windows. 
i feel so much better lately in the studio.  i took this photo this morning....do you see ezra, my studio partner, on his couch in the corner?  it is such a happy workspace now.  the studio has transposed over the past couple of months.  for years i had tried to make it about displaying the quilts and various other wares, using the main room as a shop space with static displays.  but slowly my work space began to take an ever larger chunk out of the overall studio.  and although it has taken most of this past year to let my space become the smooth and open workspace i needed, it finally has.  it has wonderfully transformed into just such a space. and although i'm still working on the organization as the need arises, i feel the circle of rooms breathe with me now as i work.  
and the business has restructured along with the space.  the studio is functioning in an entirely new way.  and i love it.  i must confess, i never loved having open houses and studio sales.  waiting for people to come is very draining.  it does not feel natural to me,  to move among a group of people.  i always felt a little off, a little unbalanced, a little like i was going to burst into tears.  but for 3 1/2 years that is what i thought i had to do to get the sales to make the business a success.  
and then edgar died.  i had so little spark in me, i could only do what came to me easily.  i had no extra emotional energy to give.  so i just sewed. i put my head down and i made quilts that i loved.  i let my ideas swim into the fabric and new and different designs emerged.  and i listed them on etsy.  i felt a little guilty for not having sales.  but i began to feel happier.  the studio began to fill with energy.  more and more people contacted me and i welcomed them to the studio.  and i felt a little surge in business. and, without knowing it, i began to do what came naturally to me.  i felt the ease and the flow as the studio recalibrated.  and it has become what my studio needs to be.  what it was always meant to be.  
so if you have a hankering to see the quilts, or if you have bought from me in the past and are wondering when the next sale is, just get in touch and come by. 

4 comments:

  1. i'm so glad things are coming together for you, I flt your grief so strongly, I never have known a person to feel loss such as I did until I met you, I completely understand, gosh I love your honesty and openness and you stitching as well, of course,

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    1. thank you laurie.....i've gotten through it and love what's happening now. your comments are always such a nice part of my day. thank you!!!!

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  2. Interesting to read about how the use of your studio has evolved. I'm glad you're at a comfortable place now. It's such a joy so see how content Ezra is!

    Your descriptions of the rains are lovely. Your writing is so poetic--I always look forward to reading it.

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    1. thank you jen, for always being so encouraging about what i do. ezra has sure fit into our little world seamlessly.

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